Category: Martial Arts
BMFcast 577 – Tai Chi Master – Pole-tron
Tai-Chi Master (1993) returns Oscar winner Michelle Yeoh to the show, with Jet Li and Siu-Ho Chin along for the ride. Directed by the legendary Woo-Ping Yuen, it’s a wire-fu tale of two young monks who get kicked out of their monastery for being too good at kung fu. They eventually end up on opposing sides of a revolution. The story isn’t the point, though. It’s all about the amazing fight scenes. And we can tell you that these scenes deliver. Is it enough to get the coveted 5-jox award?
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BMFcast 572 – Return to Savage Beach – Maximum Strainage
Return to Savage Beach (1998) is our final trip into the Andy Sidaris universe. Julie Strain and the whole gang is back, including lots of guns, nudity, and exploding RC vehicles. Will it bring us back to the glory of past Sidaris movies? Time to take off your champagne outfit, hop in the hot tub and find out!
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BMFcast 571 – I’m Gonna Git You Sucka – Blaxploitation-ploitation
I’m Gonna Git You Sucka (1988) is Keenen Ivory Wayans’ ode to blaxploitation, and a fitting way to end this year’s Blaxploitation History Month. It’s packed with jokes, as well as BMFcast alums, with Jim Brown, Bernie Casey, Isaac Hayes and even Steve James making appearances. Do the jokes hit as hard as our favorite heroes? Only one way to find out if we’ve found gold or OG’d on chains.
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BMFCast 568 – Velvet Smooth – Kung Fu Prostitute
Velvet Smooth (1976) continues Blaxploitation History Month in the tale of a private eye called in to find out who’s responsible for ripping off King, a low-level criminal running the numbers game. Can Velvet and her girls crack the case, with thugs and cops on either side hassling her? Or will we witness another interminable donnybrook with 3rd-grade-level fight choreography? (Our money is on the latter.)
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BMFcast 567 – Ninja – Solid Snake Eyes
Ninja (2009) concludes NINJANUARY, as Scott Adkins plays Casey, an American orphan trained in the ways of the ninja. His biggest rival is kicked out of the dojo and becomes the world’s deadliest assassin. What happens when they both clash over the legendary Yoroi Bitsu, a chest full of powerful ninja stuff? Spoiler: it involves a lot of jump kicks, katanas and CG blood. Does this movie jump to the top of our ninja list or die dishonorably?
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BMFcast 566 – 3 Ninjas – The Ninja Trajectory
3 Ninjas (1992) continues NINJANUARY! Three American brothers (Rocky, Colt and Tum Tum) learn from their ninja grandfather the ways of being a true ninja. If you’re a millennial, you probably loved this. Last week, Nine Deaths of the Ninja lied to us about the amount of deaths. What untruths about ninjas are there to be uncovered this week? Stay tuned, but first…we feast!
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BMFcast565 – Nine Deaths of the Ninja – General Honey Hump
Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985) officially begins Ninjanuary! Sho Kosugi returns as a member of D.A.R.T., the world’s most elite anti-terrorism squad. They have to save a bus full of diplomats, children and tour guides who have been taken hostage. Featuring some of the most bizarre villains we’ve ever seen, does this ninja movie that’s more James Bond by way of GI Joe deliver the goods or leave us stranded in the jungle?
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BMFcast561 – Alien Warrior – An Afterschool Special for Dirtbags
Alien Warrior (1985) is one of those movies. It’s baffling in all the best ways. It’s about a beefy space alien man who comes to Earth to defeat “Great Evil”. Once here he runs afoul of evil pimp Mr. One and also helps kids learn to read after building a sports car from scratch. Who is this for?!
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BMFcast560 – Street Fighter – Li-fenestra-chun
Street Fighter (1994) is a big ol’ mess of a video game movie featuring a coked up Jean-Claude Van Damme and a sadly dying Raul Julia butting heads while a whole bunch of supporting characters… also do stuff. It’s nothing like the video games but some of the costumes are accurate!
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BMFcast553 – TC 2000 – Spider-Man Breadbasket
TC 2000 (1993) is a mishmash of several better post-apocalyptic films, this one just features way more punching and kicking. BMFcast alums Billy Blanks, Bolo Yeung, Bobbie Phillips and Matthias Hues punch and kick and die and some become sex robots. You know, the circle of life.
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