SNAAAAAKE!

This episode we watch D-War (2007) also known as Dragon Wars. It’s massive snakes who wreck Los Angeles in an attempt to become and even more powerful wrecking machine dragon. Also, there’s dinosaurs with rocket launchers. ‘Nuff said.

Then we talk more bits concerning dragons as this is posted during Dragon*Con 2010! If you’re magically hearing this AND at the con look for Harlo, say hi and get a shiny BMFcard.

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The skill of gymnastics. The kill of karate.

This episode we finally tackle Gymkata (1985) which has been requested of us for a long time. If you thought dance fighting was tough stuff, wait till you get a load of the PUMMEL HORSE!

Then it’s on to, wait what is this??, THREE listener messages live from the Garfield Phone! Oh and we quickly talk about this little movie called THE EXPENDABLES!

Oh yeah, brother! Double Feature!

This episode we celebrate the big 5-0 in style with a double feature of epic proportions! First it’s No Holds Barred (1989) followed by Over the Top (1987). Wrestling and arm wrestling. That’s how you do it, folks.

Then after all that we calm down and talk bad movie marketing for our topic. What gets under our skin when it comes to convincing people to see a movie.

Here’s the scene we refer to in Episode 50, brother!

I wish this cover was how the movie was.

This episode we watch Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare (1987) a religious, rock, porn movie made in seven days for $100k. For once, we seriously can’t recommend this movie for viewing. If you want to see the WTF moment of the movie and save 80 or so minutes of your life, just click here.

Then in the second, action packed, half we talk reviews of Inception and Toy Story 3. Then it’s on to a topic of best performances by an actor in an otherwise terrible movie.

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This will lend a little creedence to the discussion.

This episode we pull a little double duty as we watch Troll 2 (1990) with a bit of a combo discussion about Best Worst Movie (2010), the documentary that details this cult movie phenomenon. The evil trolls goblins are out to turn the Waits into plants so they can eat them. Vegetarianism runs amok in this one.

Then we talk Predators and The Last Airbender. One is good enough and the other is bad enough. We’ll let you figure out which is which. And we also delve into a bit of historical cinema as we talk Casablanca and classic movies in general. Check it out!

This revolution shouldn't have been televised.

This episode we get a full dose of Girl Power as we watch Spice World (1997) because we’re obviously the target demographic on that one.

Then we talk 2012 and Shutter Island (the movie they made from that trailer) which leads us into our topic of dream projects we wished were directed by someone else.

This Ain't No Movie either

This episode we pay tribute to Dennis Hopper and video game movie adaptations by watching the original, Super Mario Bros. (1993). What happens when you cram so much crap in a movie it can barely contain it? What happens when you take a simple 8 bit game plot and try to have even less of one? We find out.

Then we talk the polar opposite of the coolness factor in the second half as we all saw A-Team!  This gratuitous use of explosions and badassadry is right up our alley. We talk some other movies on home video and take a quick updated look at our summer movie plans. Enjoy.

What section should we put this movie in?

This episode it’s wall to wall action to make up for a missing week. We get all kinds of stunty with Action U.S.A. (1989).

Then we talk some recent watches during our week off and answer a listener question about our worst theater going experiences.

Transmorph and do very little.

This episode we finally get around to watching Transmorphers (2007) and are joined by special guest Luis. If you’re going to make a ripoff movie you may as well rip off every sci fi movie.

Then we talk movies that had you until a certain point. Usually the end but a clear point where the movie fell apart.

This SpoilCast special is all about the big movie of the summer, Iron Man 2.  As always this contains massive spoilers so listen only if you’ve seen it or just don’t care. You’ve been warned.

Let's get ready to rumble, Steve!

This week we watch Arena (1989) which has been a long time coming. Steve Armstrong takes on intergalactic tough guys in a fight for humanity or maybe some blonde dude beats up on some rubber aliens. Either way, it’s a good time had by all.

Then we answer a message from the Garfield Phone Hotline from Greencapt and probably alienate some fans by talking about movies that have lost their luster over time.

When we started No Quarters we thought we would just alternate our podcasts weekly with the result of each of them being released bi-weekly. Problem is, sometimes we would not have enough to really generate content for NQ since that requires us to have played some, if not a plethora of,  games. A gaming podcast where you haven’t played any games doesn’t make for a lot of fun to listen to.  So we’ve decided to back that down to once a month to allow for us to get some gaming in between.

So what’s this mean for BMFcast? Simple. One more episode a month on average. We’ll now do three weeks in a row of BMF to one NQ. We’re also are on a mission (from God) to make the posting time a lot closer to when we record. I take most of that blame as life would come up from time to time and the editing process would always get bumped. Now I am going to attempt to always have casts posted on Fridays. Most of the time first thing in the morning but worst case by the end of the day. The irony is the first one where this was a silent promise got posted Saturday morning. So sue me, I’m getting over a cold.

Well that’s the lowdown from us here behind the curtain. Now you’ll excuse me as I can’t squeeze any more movie references into this post or I get fined. And besides, my mind is going. I can feel it.

What is this movie about?

This week we are joined by special guest Zark as he brings the movie of HIS choice in Night of the Comet (1984). I’m afraid this movie defies description so just listen up.

Then we talk a few new releases in Kick-Ass and The Losers.  We also bathe in the warm glow of simulated murder in Law Abiding Citizen and Rambo.

Nature is gonna kick your ass.

This episode we suffer The Happening. Why do people keep letting M. Night Shyamalan make terrible movies? His latest opus should have stopped it (but it didn’t).

Then it’s our summer movie preview roundup. We talk what we’re most excited about and the worst July 4th weekend EVER.

To serve, protect and mess your genitals up.

This episode we talk Omega Cop (1990) starring Ron Marchini. Nary a crotch is safe as Marchini as John Travis kicks and punches his way through a post apocalyptic city forgetting his gun and collecting women. All this and a doo wop soundtrack.

Then we answer our Alpha listener call from the Garfield Phone BMFcast Hotline. What movies as a concept or in casting are puzzling? Find out as we talk it over. And Harlo reveals a long kept secret.

The 6 million dollar poster.

This episode we toss the old football around and tackle The Room starring, directed, produced, written and carried to term by Tommy Wiseau.  How this steaming pile of self indulgence cost around six million dollars, we’ll never know.

Then after the break we discuss the upcoming Ridley Scott Robin Hood movie and how it was originally written as a role reversal plot. We also discuss other stories that would benefit from seeing them from the other side of view.  Also a PSA against seeing Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist.

Where's James Brown?

This episode we spoil up some Hot Tub Time Machine. The movie isn’t even out yet but we got advance screening tickets. So listen at your own risk.

We're gonna need bigger guns!

This episode we celebrate one year of casting by taking to heart Split Second starring the inimitable Rutger Hauer as he imitates every b-movie badass in history.

Then we take a moment and reflect back on the year that was.  OK it’s a long moment consisting of the entire second half.  But hey indulge us.  It’s a celebration bitches.

Take it out.. of the dvd case and watch it.

This episode we watch direct to DVD masterpiece Road House 2. How close can it come to a 5 Jox rating? It’s +1 Busey and -1 Swayze away.

Then it’s time for our official Oscar picks to get official after the break.

Star Cash-In

This week we watch Starcrash (1979). Can Intergalactic Italian hottie and David Hasselhoff save the universe with the help of Peter Frampton:Time Lord? Only Emperor Christopher Plummer knows for sure.

Then we talk about Oscar nominations, Jimmy C’s Avater and an un-romantic comedy after the break.

Mega bad CGI at its finest.

This week we watch the much talked about Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus. What could go wrong with a title like that?

Then we have a heated discussion and get heavy about gangster movies. Who is the wise guy again? And you think I’m funny? Do I amuse you?

Go go Inframan

This week we watch Infra-man (1975) sometimes called Super Infra-man. It’s from the Shaw Brothers so you know it’s quality. He was mighty, he was morphing, and he was powerful long before those damn ranger kids.

Then we talk about our holiday bounty in movies we watched and received as presents. And Maki spoils Harlo’s secret.

Needs more conquering.

This week we bring you holiday spectacular featuring Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Polar badgers and cardboard robots galore.

Then we go over our picks for best and favorite movies of the year and the 00′s.

It'll Rothrock your world.

The week we watch Undefeatable. It’ll fight its way into your heart as long as you don’t care about acting, story or budget. It’s a lot of raping for not much money.

Then we continue with our discussion of the best mano a mano fights in film history as we also give our review of Ninja Assassin.

The only problem with this already existing? How can a BMFcast possibly top this? And here I was hoping we’d be able to do Episode I for Episode 50… Even if we do, I promise not to talk like that guy. Maybe.

This is why America is awesome!

If you didn’t see or hear about it yet, Michael Bay apparently went off and directed himself an extra special Victoria’s Secret commercial. It is everything you’d expect in a (un)holy marriage of these two beloved American pastimes.  Behold the power below or click through to YouTube proper for HD goodies..err.. I mean goodness.

No really, it's more fun than this looks.

This week we watch Beer For My Horses starring Toby Keith which was recommended by Brandon. We go country with Toby, Rodney Carrington and the one, the only, Ted Nugent.

Then we have a song in our hearts as we talk music movies. Not musicals per se, but movies based strongly around music.

Kull does indeed rock

This week go medieval as we watch the not-Conan epic Kull the Conqueror. Sorbo. Axe. Rock. No more needs to be said.

Then we spend the second half going further into insanity as we attempt to give our preview of fall movies. Witness the trainwreck that happens after midnight.

And you know I was going to include this.

"You may be mildly interested in seeing this movie!" - BMFcast.com

This is our first mini-cast where we talk about a recent movie in which we may give away key plot points in our discussion. That’s why we decided to call it the SpoilCast. The first is on Paranormal Activity. You’ve been warned.

Then, well there is no then, it’s only a little over 20 minutes.

And here’s the dumpster baby cupcakes that Asian correspondent Sue Wasabi made for the occasion.

Yes, they are trash bags with little plastic (upside down) babies and various tool candles. We all hope the bus ride to hell is fun.

Double features aren't always doubly good.

This week the manatees at the BMFcast delve into the world of the double feature for Halloween. From there the real horror begins.

Then we just delve into a further pit of horrors as we talk favorite and scariest horror movies of all time.

Never bring a sword to a robot fight.

This week we suffer at the hands of our first previously MST3k’d movie, Robot Holocaust. There are some out there that claim it didn’t happen but we have proof.

Then we delve into the world of sequels both good and bad.

Set a course for censorSHIP!

This week we complete the trilogy of Ice with the Ice T (aquatic) vehicle known as Final Voyage. We suffer through either the weakest rated R movie ever or a TV edit. Either way it needed more violence, language and nudity to make this Ice seem cool.

Then we briefly sum up Zombieland and go into the listener feedback pool in the second half.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring robot phone.

That’s right kids, now you can use these new fangled phones to communicate with us Intertubes folks! Now as well as Electronic-mail, Tweeters, Facespaces and Word Wild Webs you can use Marconi’s Telephone system.

Just dial 910-5JOX-BMF from any phone and you’ll gain entry to our fabulous automated answering service where you may leave a suggestion, comment or other forms of emotion which may be used on a future ‘cast.  Simple as that. 910-556-9263 for those of you that don’t speak letters in your numbers. Enjoy!

The Passion of the Travolta.

This week we celebrate six months of casting with one INfamous movie. Scientology explodes onto the scene as we watch Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000. You’d think from all the time that has passed from 10,000 B.C. to Year One to 1941 and finally to 3000 A.D. the movies would have gotten better.

Then on a happier note we finally drop the bad and talk the good as we celebrate our favorite legitimate films of all time.

Well a few bad apples have spoiled the whole bunch.  We’ve recently received a lot of spam comments from .ru sites so I’ve had to turn on moderation for comments. Like Rocky, communism and Yakov Smirnoff the Russians have ruined something good in theory but bad in execution. The good news is we’ve enabled a setting that once you have an approved comment you should be able to comment freely. So if you comment and it doesn’t immediately appear it’s because you’re new and we’ll get to it as soon as possible.

The strange thing is all the comments were really nice with things like “It is the coolest site, keep so!” and “Excellent site. It was pleasant to me.” so we feel kind of bad killing them out but when they get posted about 10 times each we know it’s wishful thinking that they’re real.

Spam spam spam eggs and spam.

How could we NOT watch this movie?

This week we pay tribute to the man, the myth, the legend the only way Bad Movie Fiends can, we watch Black Dog. 18 wheelers, guns, explosions, Meat Loaf, and the Swayze. Sounds like our kind of party.

Then in the 2nd half we keep the Swayze love fest rolling as we talk about other choice classics from his extensive career. RIP you ass kicking dance machine.

Monkey zombie cowboy uses his poop slinging skills.

This week we had the misfortune of randomly picking The Quick and the Undead. This “movie” proves that we bring the worst of the worst when we have guests. Sorry Zark!

In the second half we go off on many a tangent as we talk our favorite and least favorite genres of movies in general. Plus a quick post-Dragon*con recap.

That smirk says you'll be broke in a year.

This week we stop, collaborate and watch Cool as Ice. That’s right, the Vanilla Ice blockbuster. Word to your mother.

Then we talk  Inglourious Basterds and nerdly pursuits at DragonCon.  Sorry for the echo in this week’s recording.  We tried a new way to normalize and we got a lot of mic bleed-through.  Hopefully it isn’t too distracting.

Every business card is better if it contains an explosion.

Chances are if you are a brand new visitor here you met the illustrious Harlo at Dragon*Con this weekend and were given one of our explosive new business cards. Welcome! Take a look around, download some podcasts, listen to us tear into some terrible movies and leave some comments. Better yet, send us an e-mail with movie and or topic suggestions. Our address is bmf@bmfcast.com. Easy, huh?  We accept suggestions, questions and pictures of Slave Leia and Leeloo Multipass chicks, since I hear that’s what you see at those convention things. But what do I know, I’m just a humble podcaster.

Thanks, and enjoy!

-Maki

Now this is how you do a bad movie cover.

This week watch Ninja Terminator. Camo old white guy ninja, Garfield phone, robots and a truckload of ass kicking.  Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahh!

Then we talk District 9, Rambo’s body count and Gandhi.  Yeah somehow those are related.

"Crime is a disease." - Marion Cobretti

This week we watch the Stallone 1986 killing opus Cobra. Not gonna lie, a lot of mofos die in this one.

Then we get thematic up in here as we talk G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Oh snap we’re clever!

I think we killed Coolio

This week we tackle Bad Trip (aka Tyrone) recommended by and starring Ethan Suplee. The Coolio principle is still in effect.

For the second half we discover the origin stories of the BMFcasters as we talk about what got us into bad movies.

Good thing Sinbad is happy.

We also talk about our biggest regrets of popular movies we haven’t seen.

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